Tuesday, June 28, 2016

I can, I will, I DID!

So I’ve had my last chemotherapy dose Friday 24th June with an amazing lunch, drinks and few cocktails afterwards, leading me into a very lazy Saturday. My mouth was instantly sore on Saturday morning but I knew it would be the last time I ever needed to feel this way and go through these horrible fortnight of pain and emotions.  

Did you see my Y present? WOW! Gary has out done himself this time, an amazing pair of Jan Logan earings. Outstanding for Y for Yellow! what a way to finish off all the incredible presents Gary has given me since january #1 chemo. I'm really blessed!

I promised myself and Gary, no checking any emails (tick I have not checked ONE) I also promised I wouldn’t run around like I usual self after chemo for me to recover from an aching body and sore mouth (tick) usually I’m thinking, ok how can I make the most of a no work day. Instead, I’ve rested, watched bad movies, cooked a cake, took Stewie for a walk and that’s it! Pretty good way to spend a day off, so I must keep this up as my body needs this rest.

Is this a new Mez? Did chemo kill the workaholic? Just to keep it completely honest though, I’m dying to be back to my usual fitness self.

So the picture of the week is certainly this one, “teen wolf?” “Hairy Lady” “Mez transitioning?” These are all nick names from my adorable husband. I read a few blogs and forums online, it’s apparently normal, because my few weeks of delay in chemo after hospital, hair on my head has grown a bit and I’m finding it all over my body, little white hairs, on my face everywhere, chin, neck, back of my neck and forehead. I read it will go away after a little while, I really hope so as during chemo you cannot go and get facials, or anything abrasive done on your skin due to infection possibilities so I’m grinning and baring it!

It’s cold now in Sydney and although I want to be out doing some walking but it’s freezing so just resting under the blanket until I need to go out and making a walk of it, my eyes are so tired and I just need to get through this week and visit my aunts down on south coast and relax a few days before having to go back to work.

For now, I’m working through the emotions of going back to work and feeling like I’m forgetting this even happened, which I’m not yet prepared to do but that’s ok, I guess I don’t have to. Everything is in my control for how I feel and what I do, so I’ll stick to that on a daily basis. I can’t plan ahead with any of this stuff – so I won’t.

Next thing I see left to do….start to make my body and mind feel healthier and stronger. Take care of my body with nutrients and take care of my mind by balance and equilibrium of work/life - which will involve the physical side just as much.

Oh btw, I have not found a hobby yet.
I’ve developed a taste for soy milk, thanks to my aunty – I’m actually enjoying it.
I’ve re-written my bucket list.
I’ve joined the Sydney library.
I’m designing my inspiration tattoo for when I can do that on my skin.

It’s all about the #newnormal and constant inspiration now. The best thing about being away from work on no schedule or restrictions is you notice things, see shops or cafes you have never noticed, sad people, happy people, angry people and some who just need a nudge from us walking the other way to be reminded there is something to smile about.

I’m very proud of Gary this week, with a lot of pressure at work, he came home with a big smile, told me he missed me, and that he had good things happen and some bad things happen – but I know he had a horror day so his positivity was inspiring and helped me slowly come out of my moping mood of feeling sorry for myself and sore body.    

I now want to be inspiration for others to keep positive, remain focussed on how good life is and not get stuck on the small stuff. That’s where I want my attitude to make a difference. And remove the negative people who try to affect that or don’t react to it. I’m struggling to stay focussed on everything will get better but it is very exciting to think it’s all uphill from here I think, I hope.

Enjoy your day and week people, thanks for reading today! I'm feeling very sorry for myself but i'm also excited about the future. I’m going to enjoy today’s sunshine, borrow a book, get some vitamin D and maybe even get a hair trim on the back of my neck J

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