Sunday, June 19, 2016

Perth, Margaret River Gal Pal Trip and reflection time...

10th June to 17th June 'West Side'

Ticking at least 2 boxes here in life, Sunset over the sea on the west side of Oz and visiting Margaret River!

Perth trip, thank goodness for this trip and for Sez inviting me along. I just needed a week to escape normal life and start to relax at the beginning of a 3 week break for heading towards the end of my treatment. 

In the Qantas lounge sydney

Thank goodness for the business class flight, which I desperately needed after having chemotherapy in the afternoon. We arrived late at Sarah’s friend’s house straight into their back granny flat, which meant I got to sleep Sydney time I think 230am, to be awake again 2 hours later and that was it I pretty much was awake. A horrible side affect of chemo, but unless i take my anxiety/sleeping pills by 9pm they will not work properly and pretty much do the opposite.

Saturday was our wine tour day of the trip and the worst possibly day for me to actually be on a wine tour. Taste buds were getting progressively worse throughout the day, coffee was ok still but wine not good. A complete waste however i knew being with Sez I’d have a good wingman anyhow. We left the pier at 945am, full boat, hens group on board but they were pretty tame in the end, such a shame – irish too, just didn’t live up to their potential or DNA J

The ‘Swan River Wine Tour’ sailed down the swan but I think they forgot the wine part. Only 4 (2 sip) tastes before we ended up at lunch at the Sandleford winery where we had a tour and lunch – so we ended up sober at the end – we had a lovely walk home for 1hour and half which was a good way to end up a day of sitting most the day and after dinner I was in bed by 7pm, woke up at 8pm thinking I’d slept for hours, rugby on, heater on, Sarah went out for drinks with friends and then we both woke up at 9am sooo obviously needing that sleep, I was absolutely shattered, most tired I’d been in a long time. I started to realise that I can actually just sleep when I need to. Sez’s friend had the perfect quarters for us to stay in, great beds, warm, great kids and she is beautiful and a complete supermum! Sarah does keep good friendships from what I’ve seen over the years and time spent with new people always inspires me if they are genuine and nice. It gives me something new to see and experience and also reinvigorates something in me of other people’s lives and how precious everyone’s family and friendships actually are. We had breakfast made for us - waffles (pic) and then dove down to Mgt River.

Margaret River

It rained the majority of the way so didn’t stop anywhere but got to the apartment after stopping the cheese factory, OMG smoked cheddar which became dinner. Wine tasted wrong both red and sparkling so I gave up on that and went to bed instead with a cup of tea. Worst week to come to wine region. Gary swore it would only be 24 hours of bad weather, here we are sitting here at 821am on Tues 14th June, still RAINING!! Went for a walk down to the beach to see the sunset the ONLY thing I want to see when I’m here and I saw it! J

Sunset over WA -
Bucket List Moment
Prevelly Beach Selfie

I did a poo! Yay, only took 4 cups of plunger coffee, half a banana, peach, kiwi fruit, 6 laxatives and 3 prunes. Yes that is normal for chemo patients. The first thing I was told when starting chemo was “eat prunes….a lot of prunes”. I was so uncomfortable last night I couldn’t eat dinner, so I’m much chirpier now. 

Doing nothing has been actually physically tiring but mentally refreshing. Leaving to go home on Thursday 16th was via Busselton and my body was aching so bad, shooting pains and incredibly painful but I didn’t take my Endone and Lyrica as I knew it would wipe me out and I didn’t want Sez driving without a companion, so I took Panadol, waited for Perth then drugged up, went to bed and waited for dinner time. Italian with Sez and friend, a place recommended by a few (including thank you fb friend) and after 6 quick sips of red wine I was on a high, not the best feeling but pain is worse. It’s one way of dealing with pain especially after having felt it for almost 6 months I would rather feel high and happy than in pain and not smiling. I don’t care what people think, I cope in my own way and if red wine and pain killers is how I deal with a shit moment then it’s what I’ll do. I will NEVER take life for granted and I like to think I wouldn’t say no to anything that is a life experience where there isn’t a good reason to say no. I am only just realising at the end of my treatment that I nearly died. At 34! What a completely horrible thought where I have said no to thinks that I look back and think I should have said yes to. Even though my life motto to Gary and friends has always been ‘why not’ or ‘yolo’ but I never truly lived up to it, letting work get the way, being tired or feeling lazy. Now I know what tired and in pain actually really feels like.

I always thought my upbringing was dull, unadventurous and limited in experiences, but in fact I spent so much of this trip with Sez reminiscing about our childhood moments and experiences of our parents and family trips where I realise we have very similar upbringings and what our parents taught us and realised that’s why I am who I am now and how well I’ve dealt with cancer treatment, because my dad made me resilient and although he never actually said ‘you can do anything in life’ I think I just knew it anyhow, you make your own luck, you make your own way and you don’t rely on anyone else. This is the perfect lesson in life, but dad never actually said those words - he never actually said that out loud, but I think back now, and he taught us exactly that by example.  
As much as I say a lot of positive commentary and facebook shows a certain picture I’m trying to pain, I’m really hurt by a couple of people in my life from the past couple of months, I will never put them in this blog but I will address them personally in my own way/time. I don’t think I deserve anything special because I had Cancer but there are people who should have been more supportive. It upsets me but don’t think I ever thought until now about this, I never had expectations of who should and shouldn’t and would and wouldn’t but I say this vocally because I need to deal with it and move on to not let it linger or affect me in a very emotional time – to the people who have supported me – I am so amazed that they think of me worthy of supporting.

Flying Home 'East Side'

I’m on the way home now, leaving Perth to go back home and why do I love flying? Not just because I’m lucky enough to be business class most times but because Qantas crew are always the best in customer service and asking where I’ve been, where I’m going and how am I. 

The thing I love and sometimes completely get annoyed about weirdly with Gary is that when we fly he makes the most of it. The most of the pre-flight champers, on-board wine, post-dinner port and the copious beyond that. I often look down on him or am disappointed with him for drinking too much but why? Why do I do this because it’s actually going along with everything I stand for! Make the MOST OF EVERYTHING IN LIFE. I don’t know about you but flying is where I get my life changing moments and most inspiration. The altitude? I don’t know but I have life changing moments EVERY TIME on a plane. The people I see and wondering where they are going or why do they look so miserable, or why so happy, and the people I’ve met on board - the music I listen to. On the plane I end up thinking about life and how amazing my life has been.

The crew were perfect too as i wore my mask as i really don't want to get sick so they made sure i was comfortable, offering me hand sanitiser during the flight but then shaking my hand to say welcome aboard - so i used the hand sanitiser again.... :-) 

Staying Germ Free!

Back home, back with Gary and ready to relax for another 2 weeks of figuring out what I’ll experience and learn beyond chemo!

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