Sunday, May 1, 2016

Living with the news now

Living with the news

Even though I had Gary, friends, family and a huge support network of work colleagues, I felt alone even around people and that I was dealing with this by myself. I wanted to tell everyone but I also wanted it to just go away and not deal with it. I had no idea really what it meant because the word “cancer” didn’t mean anything even when I said it out loud. I had no timeline expectation, I didn’t know what the end result was going to be. I didn’t know what chemotherapy even looked like. I knew I needed to find a reason for it, or at least make it worthwhile.

The biggest thing for me was, 2 of my family members have been through treatment in the last year, and I wasn’t there for them like they were for me only just receiving the news. I felt incredibly bad about this and knew I needed to make up for it.

I didn’t even think about death, because Cancer had not even sunk in yet. All I had was a scan with white spots all over it, it meant nothing.

Little things like he sign below would inspire me though. i grabbed inspiration from anywhere i could.

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