Sunday, May 1, 2016

Support around me

Gary’s parents flew in on 15th December as a surprise for Gary for Christmas, they had no idea any of this was happening. I planned to pick them up at the airport that evening and bring them home, Gary was beside himself as his dad wouldn’t answer his phone or text’s or skype. Finally that evening when I surprised him and we sat on the balcony having a G&T, it only took Gary 20 seconds of them sitting down that he told them the news. I hadn’t even sat down next to him yet. He needed to get it off his chest badly.

A Brisbane girlfriend, Shelley, came down for NYE and this meant the world to me, one of those friends you don’t need to talk to for a long time but when you see each other each few years you just pick up where you left off.

Sarah my best friend, I knew she would be the best sounding board I’d have throughout this entire mission. Knowing she was moving back to Brisbane first I knew making the most of having her around was important. She put her plans on hold basically to help me through, knowing this was such a blessing, what a selfish act. I would truly need her for the next 6 months – someone who doesn’t judge and isn’t Gary.

People became a big focus for me in my mind, I started thinking about life and making the most of it, and the people I share my time and space with would end up being one thing I wanted to be better at. Be nicer, build better relationships, see and speak to people more often and just make the most of friendships. This is something I’ve always wanted to be better at, how this would go I don’t know yet.

I very quickly went through a ‘I don’t care about the small stuff’ phase. I was annoyed at peoples selfish driving, being judgemental and commenting on other people, I didn’t see why we focus on the stupid things like this. It made me love these people no less but felt compelled to have people realise that what I had just been told was much bigger than all of this.

I did go through stressful moments, anxiety around someone at work who frustrated me. Although work people were being supportive a few things happened by someone I won’t name, but this person made me want to quit my job and focus on my health, one certain incident completely consumed my energy, power and thoughts. I felt weak and stressed and completely unsupported for days even though I had people around me and I made sure I had a happy New Year vibe.

A tug of war of my emotions became a daily occurrence, live life to the full and you only live once and then literally the next minute letting myself be stressed and consumed by other people’s actions. Mainly work people.

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